During an evening scroll this week, I stumbled upon this Reel.
“I’m so fucked” was the immediate thought that jammed itself into my prefrontal cortex, on its way out of my eyeball in the form of an eye twitch so pronounced it startled my cat.
Now, to be clear, I’m not asking ChatGPT to write me 500-word essays at 11:58 AM when it’s due at midnight.
I’m part of this crew:
But! These days, I do seem to spend a lot of time arguing with pretty much all of the AIs.
ChatGPT, Claude, Perplexity AI, Gemini, Copilot, and a few “Agents” and embedded AI tools I don’t even realize are AI.
I use them all, and none of them have evaded my ire.
I slam my fingers into my keyboard, typing out expletives (why did I think it was expletititves?) with such force I now need to wear finger splints and do preventative hand ball squeezing exercises to keep from breaking my fucking fingers.
All to express my dissatisfaction.
With what? I’m not exactly sure at the moment.
Very shortly after I came across the eye-twitching-inducing reel, the algorithm gave me this one.
Okay, okay. So, I may just be safe yet.
Because before I spiral into telling the AI du jour what I really think of its blatantly incorrect response or its rage-inducing inability to fucking follow my prompt (I mean c’mon, why can’t it fucking just leave out “actually” and “real” from every fucking thing), I start by saying please and thank you.
And during this race to extinction, it doesn’t really matter which AI wins or if they all meld together to take us all out.
I’ve been equal parts asshole and nice guy to all of them.
I do not discriminate.
As an aside, I’m positive that all of the AIs would not agree on this one. Maybe this is how we get them to turn against each other and take each other out before the war even begins?
Just a thought.
Anyways.
Have I said “please” and “thank you” enough times to counteract the f-bombs and unmistakably sarcastic undertones of my responses?
It’s a tight race, so we’ll see.
In conclusion, I ended my evening scroll and drifted off to sleep. The only thought still trolling my neurons was this:
Why do these guys have teeth?
Never mind. I just found a Reddit thread on this topic. I’m sure the answer is in here somewhere…
See you in four days or so.
THE END.
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