The BOSS OF ME blog

Optimize your multitasking so you don’t look like a dummy on work calls.

After reciting his name, title and department on the weekly video call, Lisa from accounting asks Ben a direct question. After a brief pause, she further queries, “Ben, are you there?”

The entire team waits in uncomfortable silence and you wince as Ben manages to unmute himself and say, “Can you say that again?”

With a broken camera that “apparently” succumbed to a mysterious and unconfirmed cyber-attack over six months ago, and his mind on a whirlwind adventure tour of un-related activities that include:

• doing other work,
• checking his socials,
• eating ‘second breakfast,’
• texting his buddies, and,
• participating in an online car forum,

Can You Say That Again Ben, is completely checked out.

Zoned out, and now unmuted so everyone on the call can hear him typing and chomping away on his second breakfast, Can You Say That Again Ben, seems to have better things to do than participate in the weekly video call. You just know he’s not wearing any pants either.

To be fair, you wouldn’t be wearing pants if you weren’t working from the office today, but that’s beside the point. You’re Ben’s boss, and his inattention during the weekly video calls is becoming increasingly frustrating. You are so focused on what Ben is or is not doing, that you’re missing important information. It’s gone so far that you have uttered “Can you say that again,” more than once on the last team call. The meetings are taking longer because everyone has to repeat everything they said at least once and they’re feeling very disrespected. You’re going to have to have a chat with Ben.

What to do if you’re the boss of a ‘Can You Say That Again Ben’

Start by confirming the weekly meeting is required and that you and Ben both need to attend. Heck, maybe you both can get out of the meeting! But, if meeting attendance is mandatory, Ben’s behaviour must be addressed.

First, set the right example by not multitasking yourself. If you’re participating in the same online car forum and approving his emailed PTO requests during the video call you’re both on, he’s not likely to take the chat you need to have very seriously.

Next, give him a taste of his own medicine. When Ben finally gets around to responding to the question Lisa asked, ensure you are on camera and adamantly listening. Once he’s finished speaking, stare intently into your camera so he knows he has your full attention and say, Ben, can you say that again? You may need to repeat this step if you feel Ben is a bit thick.

If that doesn’t work and a corporate video call policy doesn’t exist, draft one. Unfortunately, some Corporate Morons© will only conform to standard corporate protocols and societal norms for politeness if they are listed in a policy. It would seem as though Ben is one of those morons. Be sure not to list yourself or your department as the policy author. I recommend HR take the hit, but if you’re in HR, I recommend ‘Corporate’ as another viable option.

Before the next weekly video call, have the meeting organizer send the policy out with the meeting agenda. Make sure the organizer also reviews the policy at the beginning of the meeting.

Now it’s time to meet with Ben.

Start by empathizing with Ben. Acknowledge that we all multitask from time to time, however, let him know that if he can’t get better at it, he’s going to have to stop. The company is cracking down on multitasking morons with the release of the new policy and a new camera was shipped out to him this week. Also, let Ben know you have already confirmed his attendance at the meetings is mandatory. Your hands are tied.

What to do if you are a multitasking moron

First, check to see if one or more of the following has occurred in the past month:

• Your company has released a policy on video call expectations that is now attached to all video calls.
• Your boss personally reviewed the policy with you and confirmed that meeting attendance is mandatory.
• You have received a new camera from corporate with a written copy of the policy on video call expectations. “Camera’s must be on during video calls,” had been highlighted and underlined. Twice.

Next, stop multitasking on video calls.

Of course, this isn’t practical. But you do need to get better at it because you’re pissing off your boss and colleagues. They’ve created a meme after you for fucks sake! The jig is up and you need to slow your roll on the multitasking. And if you were being honest, you are beginning to annoy yourself. During last week’s call, you accidentally emailed your PTO request to the entire company and typed in “my can opener sounds better than your aftermarket exhaust” into your work video call chat.

Why do we multitask?

Multitasking was once heralded as a key desirable trait in the workplace. However, as soon we finished updating our resumes and LinkedIn profiles to include endless examples of our multitasking prowess, a zillion studies came out stating that multitasking reduced productivity and made us dumber!

Repeatedly saying “Can you say that again,” on your work calls and accidentally typing serial numbers for car parts into your work chat, certainly doesn’t make you look smart. Yet most of us continue to multitask throughout the day, adding stress and reducing productivity for Corporate Morons© everywhere.

In an optimal workplace, we would not multitask. But none of us work there. So I recommend we optimize our multitasking.

Tips for multitasking morons

Here are a few tips for multitasking on video calls:

• Be selective. Don’t overwhelm yourself with tasks and distractions.
• Keep yourself muted when not speaking, but be ready to unmute yourself at a moment’s notice. Control what you can. For example, keep your music or TV off during the call so you’re not fumbling with remotes and pushing extra buttons.
• Use two screens. Ensure your camera is set up to look like you are focused on the call. Limit rapid eye movements and swivelling your head around like a hyperactive owl.
• Pair tasks with the level of engagement required for each meeting. For example, save laundry folding and peeling vegetables for recorded town hall sessions you are not required to be on camera for, and deleting emails for on-camera sessions where your name may be called.
• Establish a buddy system. If your friend is on the call, ask them to give you a heads-up if the conversation seems to be heading in your direction and do the same for them.
• If you missed a critical part of the conversation because you were multitasking, ask for clarification after the meeting rather than during. Preferably ask a trusted colleague or better yet, consult the meeting recording.
• And learn to deselect. If you truly think your attention is better spent on other tasks or that you are not critical to the meeting, send your regrets in favour of your priorities and catch up on the recording or meeting minutes later.

Finally, it is important to recognize that there are times when we shouldn’t multitask. Times when we need to step away from the online car forum, ditch our phones, put our pants back on, and stop pretending our camera has malfunctioned. Here is a list of times when you should not be multitasking:

• 1:1s,
• When literally everyone else has their cameras on,
• When you are a lead on the topic or project, and
• When your name is next to an agenda item.

Pants remain optional as long as you are working from home.

Multitasking mayhem during work calls prolongs meetings and frustrates colleagues. But we all do it. So we might as well get better at it.

What kind of multitasking mayhem do you create at work?

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Are you a Corporate Moron©? Find out here:

The Five Types of Corporate Morons© at Work

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Originally published in Funny, Inc. on Medium: Can You Say That Again Ben and Other Multitasking Morons at Work on September 27, 2024.