The BOSS OF ME blog

How to deal with your office tattletale and what to do if you are one

Telling tales, spilling secrets, and disclosing drivel, Tattletale Tina is in the boss’s office again. With the tongue of a viper and wit of a car door, this malicious malcontent is out to get you and anyone else they can get the skinny on.

Tattletale Tina strolls office hallways and prowls online office chats seeking out the most minor of infractions committed by the other Corporate Morons©. This phony confidant will often befriend new hires to collect fresh gossip and catch early transgressions. Clock-watching, nit-picking and obsolete corporate policy enforcement are her forte. It’s a wonder this drama-loving diva has time to get work done.

In hopes of gaining favour, she maliciously shares the intel with the boss and anyone else who might help further her agenda.

The mere sight of her heading your way can suck the air out of your day like a raging fire vortex. Even the most innocuous information shared with this self-serving busybody is guaranteed to turn into an explosive torrent of gossip so inappropriate you would contact the corporate whistleblower hotline yourself if it were true.

What to do if you have a tattletale at work

Tattletale Tina seems nice but isn’t. With false praise and exaggerated flattery, Tina’s buttering you up so you spill the beans on Randy’s unapproved extra vacation day, and to get your real opinion on your boss’s plan to resurrect trust falls at the next team-building event.

If you have an office tattler, it’s best to steer clear of these blathering bumbleheads. The sooner you and all of the other Corporate Morons© at work figure out you have a tattler, the sooner you can execute the appropriate countermeasures.

We all mess up sometimes. When this happens, it’s best to own up to it quickly before Tina can add her salacious spin to the event. Other tips for dealing with a tattletale:

• Be courteous and professional with the office snitch.
• Avoid them when possible.
• Don’t overshare information about yourself or others — work-related or otherwise, and
• Don’t retaliate. Your boss doesn’t need two dingle butts to deal with.

What to do if you think you might be the office tattletale

If you think you may be the office tattler — zip it. You’re not TMZ. If you were just about to head to your boss’s office to let her know that Gavin took two, instead of the one, corporately mandated work from home day last week, and it impacted you in no way whatsoever, think about what you really expect to get out of that interaction.

Reporting minor infractions and spreading gossip are work distractions that erode relationships with colleagues and leaders. You’re likely to annoy your boss, and eventually, you will be the one they are having an uncomfortable conversation with.

Instead, you could plan a collaborative social event that doesn’t suck or send your colleagues funny work-related memes about printers.

What to do if you are the boss of a tattletale

If you’re the boss of a tattler, it’s literally your job to address the behaviour. Do not give airtime to the explosive torrent of untrue gossip, no matter how interesting. Team morale will sink faster than a new company-provided iPhone dropped in an office toilet. Instead, let Tattletale Tina know what the more self-aware Corporate Morons© learned in kindergarten — tattling isn’t cool.

Employ the diplomacy skills you learned at the last corporate retreat, and advise Tina that you understand she is interested in what everyone else is up to, but you’re looking for an update on her work. Redirect Tina to more positive work-relevant topics. Reinforce positive behaviours when you see them and refocus Tina when she shares gossip or otherwise off-topic information by providing meaningful and direct feedback.

We aren’t talking about whistleblowing here

Not to be confused with corporate espionage or siphoning off millions of dollars from the company. In those cases, you should definitely alert the appropriate leaders and authorities, Tattling at work isn’t cool and no one will make a movie about you for running to your boss every time Julie is on the phone with her boyfriend.

Tattling at work erodes trust and reduces overall team performance. No one likes a tattletale and no leader likes dealing with one.

Go out there and be the workplace winner that you are! Impress your colleagues and save your boss from the lawsuit that will inevitably result from the planned trust-fall team-building event by coming up with an idea that doesn’t involve grabbing each other in inappropriate places or potentially dropping each other on the floor.

Have fun out there!

Free Corporate Moron© Quick Reference Guide

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The Five Types of Corporate Morons© at Work

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Originally published in Funny, Inc. on Medium: Tattletale Tina and Other Corporate Morons© at Work on August 12, 2024.