Which one will push me over the edge first?
While I have over 20 years of experience purchasing technology for corporations, no one has ever accused me of being able to use it. So, don’t be dazzled by my vast experience negotiating complex software licence agreements. When it comes to working with new technologies like ChatGPT and engaging with Telecom Chatbots, I’m just a regular old Corporate Moron©.
The Rise of the Chatbot
It’s hard to do anything online these days without engaging with a chatbot. Helping and hindering users everywhere, chatbots are often deployed as gatekeepers to human interaction and your sanity. I have evaluated my experience with the chatbots I have engaged with most over the past few months: My Telecom Chatbot and ChatGPT. Before we get to the results, here is an overview of what my Telecom Chatbot and ChatGPT are known for:
I evaluated each chatbot’s effectiveness in 5 key areas. Here are the results:
Ability to Provide Inaccurate Answers
A Telecom Chatbot prides itself on being able to answer more questions per hour than a human. It will not provide factually inaccurate answers. It will, unfortunately, have you questioning your sanity as it returns accurate responses that side-step your original query.
ChatGPT prides itself on providing all of the information available on the internet before 2021, including accurate and inaccurate information. The downside is that it’s up to the user to discern truth from lies which is hard because the information provided sounds right.
Uselessness of Answer
ChatGPT and the Telecom Chatbot both excelled at providing useless answers to my queries. ChatGPT is great at making shit up and the Telecom Chatbot doggedly sticks to the same five canned responses, irrespective of what it was asked, and is not at all helpful if you need information that you don’t already know.
Friendliness and Approachability of Chatbot
If you let it, ChatGPT will chat your ear off. While sometimes annoying, ChatGPT is super polite and very apologetic if you point out that it just provided an idiotic response to your question.
The Telecom Chatbot on the other hand is a gaslighting asshole and decidedly not sorry about it. This chatbot makes you feel like answering your questions is a major inconvenience and that it has somewhere better to be.
Option to Talk to a Human
The Telecom Chatbot will let you talk to a human, eventually. First, you need to confirm all of the information you have ever provided to the Telecom Provider, such as:
- the last three companies you worked for that may be associated with mobility services you are not calling about, and
- the full list of TV channels included with the theme pack you selected 10 years ago.
ChatGPT does not connect you directly with a human and will not arrange a call back for you (trust me I tried). However, it will offer to provide you with the contact information for the Telecom department you are trying to connect with that will undoubtedly lead you back to a bot, but it won’t make you feel like a dickhead for asking.
Ability to Enrage the User
Within mere seconds the Telecom Chatbot has an unparalleled ability to spiral users into a blind rage. For example, if you subscribe to internet and home security services and are currently being hacked, I suggest you unplug your computer and throw it in the toilet because it would be a faster and more effective response to hacking than repeatedly yelling ‘Internet security!’ at your Telecom Chatbot.
While ChatGPT also has a strong ability to stir rage-filled emotions in me, they are fleeting. With its immediate apologies for missteps and flowery, over-polite prose, I am often left feeling like the asshole after our conversations.
Summing It Up
Chatting with your run-of-the-mill service provider chatbot is like talking to an arrogant and very stupid wall. Chatting with ChatGPT is like messaging with the politest know-it-all, possibly mistaken and very sorry about it, work colleague.
If you find yourself in the unenviable position of needing something from your Telecom Services Provider, I recommend asking ChatGPT for help first. You are more likely to receive the information you need and will not be in a blind rage when you get it.
So, are my chatbots trolling me? Probably not. But my Telecom Chatbot is the clear winner at sending me over the edge because I get there at just the thought of having to engage it.
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Want to know more about me and ChatGPT? Here is our origin story:
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